It Should Have Been You
by CasualtyDreamer2
Summary: Can Nick go through with his and Yvonne's wedding or is a welcome distraction to the ceremony the woman really wants?
1. Chapter 1

** It Should Have Been You...**

Just one more sip. One last taste of the sweet red liquid that had always been their to support her in the drowning of her sorrows. The flavour had been lost a long time ago, it was irrelevant. All that mattered was that it was there, the only thing that was a constant fixture in her life. It was there and for a while it numbed the pain; the pain of watching the man she had always loved marry another woman.

She had met Yvonne a few times, she often wandered around the Ed, waiting for Nick to finish. Occasionally, she would drag Nick to the pub after his shift, for which Zoe was secretly grateful. It meant that while Yvonne socialised with the other staff, Zoe could spend time with the man she wanted to spend all her time with.

Up until the day she had heard the news of their engagement, Zoe had no real problems with Yvonne. She had always assumed that they weren't serious, that she would inevitably win Nick back. But now, Yvonne was taking her place, she was taking the title that Nick had promised would always be hers. Yvonne was going to become Mrs Jordan.

Slouched in her chair at the back of the church, wine clutched firmly in her hands, she watched closely. She studied the chemistry between Nick and his bride. It wasn't obvious- it wasn't even close to what she had shared with Nick. The spark between the two doctors had overtaken everything else, it was overpowering. Now, it had died out. All they had left as far as Zoe understood was a simple boss- employe relationship.

The words of the priest stung in Zoe's ears. It made everything feel so real- she wasn't living a bad dream. It was actually happening- she was loosing Nick all over again.

"Do you, Niccolo Jordan take thee Yvonne Rippon to be your lawfully wedded wife?" That was it. She ran. She ran away from her seat on the back row, dropping the wine as she did. The commotion caught the attention of almost every guest, heads turned to see and icy glares were shot from Yvonne's family and friends.

Nick had only then noticed what everybody was staring at- Zoe was leaving.

"Zoe" he called out, dropping Yvonne's hands.

"If you go after her, don't bother coming back" Yvonne hissed, feeling her blood boil. She of all people, knew that Zoe and Nick still cared for each other, that they always would. Nick ignored her words and ran towards his dark haired beauty. It was like a movie, the clichéd slow motion run. A lump formed in Zoe's throat at the sound of his voice. Concern and care laced it.

"Can we talk?" He asked, his voice quieter now. His arm gripped hers, the firm hold that she was so used to. The firm hold that she had missed. Closing her eyes momentarily, she let him lead her away.

* * *

"You going to tell him what's wrong then?" Nick asked, placing his hand on her chin and lifting it so she could look up at him.

"I'm sorry for ruining your big day like that" she whispered, finding herself relax in his presence. The wine had calmed her slightly but not as much as she had hoped.

"You didn't ruin it. If anything you made it bearable." Nick admitted stroking her left cheek, smiling at the sharp intake of breath from her as he did so. Even after all that time they still did unspeakable thins to each other.

"What? It's your wedding day- isn't it supposed to be the happiest day of your life or whatever?" She smiled weakly, rolling her eyes at the expectations of marriage.

"What if I've already had the happiest day of my life?"

"Nick just stop with all these stupid questions, what are you trying to say?" There was an edge of irritation to her voice. When she received no immediate response, she let out a deep sigh and rose to her feet. It wasn't until she had walked a few steps that Nick caught her hand. The rush of belonging and want shocked her as they stayed completely still, hands entwined. The world was slowing down once again.

"The happiest day of my life was the day you stormed into it." He finally admitted. He finally told her what he had wanted to for so many months, so many years.

Zoe span around, no words came to her. She simply sat down beside him, hands still firmly glue together as if the world depended on it. The pleading look in her eyes encouraged him to continue; to open up some more.

"The first time I ever saw you, fretting around in Resus, I knew I wanted you." They both chuckled quietly as the events of that day flooded their minds.

"It's always been the looks that attracted me. Along with your stubborn, head strong personality. Your witty, comments and your cheekiness" again a small chuckle was heard from both Nick and Zoe.

"You know how the groom is supposed to shed a little tear when their bride walks down the aisle?" He continued finding it considerably easier to let his emotions out to Zoe. It was a shame they had left it so long. "I did cry- just a little bit mind. But not when Yvonne walked in, as awful as that sounds. I cried when you walked in. Late as always." He winked towards her as he spoke the last few words. Their usual banter and flirtation hadn't been lost after their breakup.

It was true, Nick had let a small tear fall when she had burst in. Dressed in her usual figure hugging style dress, white this time. Perfectly fitting for the occasion. The flattering sweetheart neckline was scattered with small diamantes that caught the light beautifully. The bronzed goddess look to her skin was evident.

"Yvonne, she um. She seems great" Zoe gulped, attempting to steer the subject away from herself. She couldn't deny that she was pleased by all his compliments but it was the wrong time to be saying them. His wedding day should have been full of compliments towards his bride, not his ex.

"She is. She's almost perfect, she's just not you."

Zoe gulped again, fighting off the tears that threatened to fall. Once again she tried to ignore his comments.

"Have you thought about the future, you know kids and all that?" Her heart was aching at the thought of her Nick Jordan settling down with another woman, and raising children. Children that she would kill to raise with him.

Nick seemed to have snapped out of his trance now and answered her honestly.

"Yvonne can't have children" there was no pain to his voice, not even a change in his eyes. Unlike the rare times when he would speak of Zoe's infertility.  
"Not that it matters. There's only woman I've ever wanted children with"

"Nick, please just stop it. You're choosing all the wrong times to tell me all this. It's your wedding day for God's sake!" Her voice shook, and she sniffed back the tears before he could notice them.

"There's no time like the present. I'm sorry I've left it until now to admit all this but I haven't stopped thinking about you, us since, you know. And maybe marrying Yvonne was always going to be a mistake. I'll never know will I, we're not officially married yet and we never will be. But I can tell you this, it didn't feel right at all standing there, promising my life to a woman I barely even know. It should have been you." By the time he had finished, tears stung his own eyes.

"It should have been you. It's always been you"

**Thought it would be a good idea to show our favourite couple if Yvonne hadn't have died and her Nick had gotten married (or almost married!) ;) Please let me know what you thought xx**


	2. Kissed Me First

Nicks next move, as much as it was inevitable, was a slight shock. Zoe knew it was coming- she could always tell with Nick. The way his eyes would glitter and the way he studied her lips before hand was a give away.

As he leant in, Zoe considered resisting the temptation. She thought for a moment about being strong and not giving into his dreamy eyes and his charming ways. It was impossible. In the end he would always have a hold on her.

His lips captured hers, unlike all the times before. It was gentle this time, soft and considerate. There was a continuos trail of the short kisses before Zoe gave in completely and deepened them.

"You're amazing" he mumbled against her soft, tantalising lips.

His hands were caught up in the silky strands of her hair and the desire in his eyes was clear. The approaching sound of a pair of heels wasn't enough to end their moment. But the voice was.

"Here they are, the cheating scumbag and his cheap tart"

Yvonne. Of course it was, her timing as ever was impeccable. Just as Zoe had her man back within reach he would be taken away again. Yvonne's words didn't even bother Zoe, it wasn't the first time she had been accused of being a 'tart' and it most likely wouldn't be the last.

He would always have backed her corner, stuck up for her. He would have defended her, told Yvonne not to talk to his girl like that. But that was just it, she wasn't his 'girl' anymore, she hadn't been for a long time. Now Yvonne had taken her place.

"Cheating? Yvonne I've been faithful to you since the very beginning" Nick promised, dismissing his previous kiss with Zoe completely.

"Kissing another woman is not faithful Nick!" She stressed, flapping her arms around- the term Bridezilla certainly crossed Zoe's mind. She was over exaggerating the whole situation as usual.

"That wasn't my fault, you've got to believe me" Either Nick was an incredible actor or he really wanted Yvonne.

"You liar!" Zoe screeched rising to her feet. She pointed straight at him, jabbing him in the chest as she accentuated every last syllable. "I hate you"

Turning on her heel to leave, she faced Yvonne. "And as for you, don't believe a word that comes out of that disgusting mouth of his- do yourself a favour and leave him before he leaves you" the honesty of her words stung.

As she strutted off, fully aware that Nick would be watching her every move, she waggled even more than usual. Nick wouldn't help but admiring how attractive she was when she was angry. He was addicted. Addicted to something he couldn't have.

"Why is it always her?" Yvonne whispered, tears stinging her eyes as she attempted to be strong. The chemistry between Zoe and Nick was prominent and unavoidable.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, wishing that he could be anywhere but the situation that they were all stuck in.

"Everything you say, everything you do is somehow related to her"

Nick let out a deep sigh. He ran his hand over his tired face, there were two women that he could have chosen and he was beginning to believe that his choice had been wrong. Did he really want Yvonne or was his Doctor Hanna the one?

"I'm sorry about that darling, I love you remember" He smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. It felt nice, it just wasn't how it felt with Zoe. He couldn't shake the perfect image of the olive skinned woman from his head. She was always there, she always would be. The tone to his voice wasn't the most convincing; he wasn't convinced.

"But you kissed Zoe, I know she's better than me in probably all aspects but Nick I'm supposed to be your wife, well fiancé still" the emotion to her voice tugged on Nicks heart strings. He couldn't deny that Zoe was better, she would be better than anyone else. But Yvonne had always been loyal to him and for that he would repay her.

"Hey, don't be like that. Besides, Zoe kissed me first"

**oohh What will Zoe do when she finds out about Nicks blatant lie? **

**A short chapter I know and probably not the outcome you were all hoping for. But I promise Zoe and Nick will get together very soon, I just wanted to create a bit of drama first. Thank you for your amazing reviews on the first chapter, please once again let me know what you thought. x**


	3. A Beautiful Mess

Nick had avoided Zoe completely since their kiss, certain that his feelings towards her would become obvious, more obvious than they already were. Even lecturing her about another late start was risky. The temptation to have her there and then was too strong.

Of course he had flashed her a wink from time to time, it was simply natural for them to flirt- it always had been. Zoe didn't react in her usual way however, there were no sarcastic, borderline inappropriate comments or cheeky smirks. The most he could get out of her was a rolling of her eyes.

As Zoe stood against the no smoking sign, her cigarette keeping her from exploding, Yvonne approached. The way that she strutted, trying to look much better than she was was comical to Zoe.

"Zoe" she snarled, coming to a stop and joining her at the wall.

"Yvonne" Zoe's tone mirrored Yvonne's but of course was ten times as harsh.

The two women stood beside each other for a matter of moments before Zoe put her foot down.

"Look is there any real reason you're here? Last time I checked we weren't exactly the best of friends" She questioned whilst rubbing her forehead, her eyebrows raised.

"Of course there's a reason! You think I'd just drop by to catch up with a brat like you?" Her words were laced with venom but didn't have the desired effect on Zoe. Rather than being intimidated, she let out a small laugh, a sarcastic one.

"Charming"

Yvonne ignored Zoe's comment and proceeded shouting the odds. "What happened between you and Nick- it never, ever happens again you hear me?"

Discarding her cigarette, Zoe straightened her dress. "Oh believe you me, I wouldn't have anything to do with him again if he was the last man on this planet"

"Oh really, but you'd still kiss him first, just like last week?" Yvonne spat- right now she despised the other woman.  
Her words hit Zoe hard. Any possibility of her day being any worse was now obliterated.

She span around, pretending that her words hadn't upset her. Putting on a brave face was something she had done time and time again; she was quite the expert.

"The man you supposedly love is a liar, nothing else. I didn't kiss him first, I wouldn't have. Believe it or not Yvonne, I actually have some respect for you"

Leaving Yvonne standing alone, Zoe's mind switched to over-drive. Nick had lied, he had promised Yvonne that he hadn't kissed Zoe first, that it was all her doing. That hurt, but the fact that he had kissed when she was most vulnerable and made everything seem so perfect before ripping her heart slowly and painfully, hurt a hell of a lot more. She couldn't cry though, she had a reputation to live up to. Granted it wasn't the most desirable at the best of times but she still hadn't cried in front of her colleagues.

* * *

The previous eight hours had been the shift from hell. Yvonne's words and Nicks lie had been on her mind the whole day. As she let herself through the front door, she broke down. Making it towards her wine rack was a struggle with salty tears streaming down her cheeks. Once again the wine was her only comfort.

Slouched on the leather sofa, her phone grasped in her hands, she scrolled. She scrolled through her contacts until she reached his name. Just looking at the four letters was torture. Knowing that he would never be hers again was torture. She ached all over, no other man had ever left her truly heartbroken. Of course, only Nick Jordan could tick that box. He was everything she wanted in a man- he was demanding, caring in his own way, sexy, powerful and would always keep his promises. Until now, now his promises weren't promises, they were empty lines. Rehearsed lines.

* * *

A couple of hours had passed and Zoe had made it to her bed, cradling the wine bottle as she attempted to catch up on some well missed sleep. But as usual nights were the time for over thinking and over evaluating.

A familiar grasp was recognised as his strong arms held her as she lay sideways. The irresistible scent of his aftershave hit her. Nick. She wasn't aware that he had kept his key to her house, but she didn't care. She hated him but she loved him. She needed him.

For the first time since his spontaneous arrival, Nick spoke. "I'm sorry" probably the rarest words that Nick Jordan knew how to speak, admitting that he was wrong had never been his forte.

"I hate you" Zoe replied, her voice shaking and tears continuing to fall. Nick soothed in the only way he knew how; stroking her hair.

"Sh, sh. I know you do baby but I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied. You've got to believe me, I love you. I just wanted to do the right thing for once and I thought that meant making things work with Yvonne" His voice was pleading and one tear fell onto Zoe's shoulder as he placed a soft kiss on it.

Zoe sniffed away her next sequence of tears away and brought on shaking hand up to her face. "So while you were trying to be some kind of Saint, I was left heartbroken once again. It's like you don't even care who you hurt"

His own heart began to break as she revealed how she felt. Hurting her had never been an intention of his, it never would be. "Of course I care- I love you Zoe Hanna" the way he spoke so genuinely calmed Zoe and her breathing steadied gradually.

"Why would you love me? I'm a mess"

If she was a mess, she was his mess. His beautiful mess.

"Because I saw you and you were perfect, I loved you. And then I saw that you weren't perfect and I loved you even more."


End file.
